Educational Vs. Academic

I was talking about christmas gifts to a co woker recently and as all parents,I'm sure, I was complaining about toys and the "too manyness" of them.  I was remarking that this year we were asking for memberships to various places and during this conversation my co worker stated that b/c we homeschool we must only want "educational" toys.
Hmmm, That is pretty much not exactly true.  What is traditionally considered "educational"; things like Leap frog products and Dora the explorer and anything that is made to outright act like an academic teacher is just not allowed in my home.  I dislike anything that pretends to teach.
I Am Learning All the Time
In my opinion toys should be fun but that is not to say they wont be educational.  My kids learn a ton just from playing with each other and working out compromises with very simple tools: some stuffed animals, some Star Wars people and a Hess Truck or two..  Nobody would really call those educational (and truth be told I do think too many toys are a hindrance to learning) however the education lies in the team work in the sharing. Creativity is where kids brains get the most exercise so in that I find Traditional educational toys a bore for the brain (although often the lights and the sounds make kids happy)  Dolls that don't "do" anything until the child breathes life into it by sheer imagination and stuffed animals that are loved so strongly that they become part of the family do more for kids brains than a frog teaching them to read at ever decreasing ages.
So yes I like to have educational toys but not academically teaching toys.  Santa wont be bringing a toy lap top or Leapsters to teach my kids foreign languages.  

 Rosetta Stone will be responsibe for spanish and I will be responsible for Latin and math.  The books will be in charge of reading and Miss Diane will take care of Piano lessons.  In this way to toys are free to just play and quite frankly I think "shadow" has come a long way in learning his Roman numerals.
I much prefer my kids teaching the toys than the toys teaching the kids; academics anyway.

You must be so patient

Homeschoolers raise your hand if you ever hear these words, "I could never homeschool.  You must be so patient"  Now keep your hands up if you are really THAT patient.  I saw those hands go down.  When people say that to me I always say, "Well you know that's a myth we homeschoolers like to keep alive b/c it makes us look good"  It generally gets a laugh and I follow it with the truth. There is no way I could ever be as patient as they are to have to follow someone else's rules about how my kid should and must be learning, socializing, waking up, eating for lunch and whether or not my kid is at "grade level"

I don't think it takes any more patience to homeschool your kids than is needed to raise them.    So that is not to say the job is without effort just that effort is only equal to having kids anyway.
I find the stressors of homeschooling to be only about parenting woes and I am glad that it isn't exacerbated by someoone else putting pressure on me and my kids to be at some arbitrary level  they deem appropriate.
The number one "issue" that I hear over and over in my homeschool circles is trying to make time to teach the older one when the little one is underfoot.  Sharing comes up and even bossiness of siblings;  things that are just part of the whole parenting package anyway.
 Mostly, we are happy to go slowly to help a struggling kid learn to spell and we are happy to challenge the quick study with frequent trips to the library or more math puzzles.
Better Late Than Early: A New Approach to Your Child's Education


Patience is required when stuck in traffic on your way to meet friends to see the Statue liberty and more patience is needed when it turns out you are never gonna get there.  However , a report on the Statue Liberty will not be "late" and no one is going to fail the test on what is written at the base.
As homeschoolers we only require as much patience as is needed to meet  the day to day life existence but rarely do we need to muster up strngth to hear someone else tell us our kids aren't applying themselves.
We get to choose and that is truly the blessing of the whole thing.

The social experiment needs a change

It has been said that school is the biggest social experiment of the time of humans.  I see the President calling for "Education reform"  I see zero tolerance policies expelling small children for toy guns, I see the NJEA claiming to care about students but seemingly caring more about Superintendents inflated salaries and I see bullying gone so far as to cause young people to take their own lives.

Oh yes we need reform but not in the form of longer days, stricter classes, harder tests.  We do not need more school.  We need less.
Children need one on one supervision and care.  Children need to be heard.   Children need to play and they need to wonder and they need to make mistakes.
They need adults to guide them and show them right from wrong.

You can't win a battle with a bully by legislating behavior or using zero tolerance polices or lenghty assemblies on bullying.
Bullying starts and ends with self confidence and an abiltiy to  feel empathy.  This is milestone and kids don't have it immediately.
Throwing them all together in a classsroom where emotional needs of all can not be met is the makings for bullying. 
I know not all kids can be homeschooled.  It's just not reality.    However while the subject is on Education reform, let's stop and think what the kids need not what we think will make them into smarter faster little robots that can outperform other countries.
Let's slow them down, let them create and show them that the adults around them care about them and will guide them through difficult feelings.  Show them we care more about how they feel  than we care about math grade.
Sounds like an impossible plan , I know.; However as long as reform is on the table let's really reform it and not just make it stricter and firmer. That's not reformation.  That's just more of the same.

Socialization is the number one question people ask about homeschooled kids.  How will they make friends everyone wonders.   My biggest mistake in homeschooling was letting the worry about making friends more important than family life. It's not that I don't think kids should have other kids to play with but it isn't the be all end all that we sometimes think it is.  I think there is a school mentality that is so pervasive that it influences how children are raised. School is not the answer to social children.  With cliques and bullies the experiment shows over and over that children's basic needs are  being neglected yet the rules just keep stricter and kids are being expelled b/c the school can't deal with any infraction (Hey they might get sued for the 5 year old bringing the toy gun to school) 
If the school can not deal with teaching the child then maybe that's where reform needs to start.  Not with grades not with test scores but with making the school enviornment one that meets children's needs.

Let them play let them learn. 

So how do you like your parents?

A shoulder shrug.  A bored or irritated expression.  So the asker wonders, "hmm I guess they don;t like their parents.  They would probably be better off with other parents.  If they had other parents these kids would answer, 'We love our parents!!  It's great and so much better than having other parents'
Or maybe the inquisition begins with, "So how do you like life?"  Again my kids stare off wonder about this odd question and get bored and want to leave this place where people ask strange questions and make them feel "on the spot"  

Well my kids aren't asked those exact questions but they are sometimes asked, "So how do you like homeschooling?" 
Of course it would be great if my kids gushed on about how great it is and how we go to so many museums, and have so much free time for playing and they learn at their own pace  but sometimes mommy rushes the pace but we understand b/c we are well adjusted (more so than you school types)  and incredibly bright for our age. 
..but they don't.

My kids stumble on that question everytime and I see the wheels turning in the askers head. "AHA!" they think.  These kids would rather be in school" 
My kids have never been to school so the question "how do you like homeschooling?" requires a comparison my kids can not make. 
They would prefer not to be interviewed about ths homeschool stuff and would rather go on not feeling different.  They feel like regular kids and do not know why people are so hung up on this subject. 

September

September is looming around the corner and of course my thoughts are of, "Back to school".  The weather changes and my body can feel the back to schoolness of the air.  For some this feeling might be of exccitemet of new beginings, of clean pristine notebooks and paper ready for the new student who is going to buckle down this year.
For me,I still get nervous and I like reminding myself, "You are not going back"  I generally have to remind myself this until the end of September. 

For my kids though, September is just one more month closer to Johanna's birthday and Christmas, which they count down all year long. 
I try not to make September sound like the beginning of anything and hope they feel the same about September as any other month.  We enjoy the back to school sales in August and we celebrate the 1st  day of NOT back to school at the zoo each year on the first day of our town's first day back to school. 
In my head though the plans are reeling for the "school year" which we do not follow but  my own habits wont let me relinquish.  

I try and introduce my kids to various subjects and see what sticks throughout the year.  My kids dont; know that in September I get his urge to "buckle down"  to "do" school.  I'm pretty sure it is really just that clean notebook smell in the air that makes me want to get down to business.  So I placate myself with trips to Staples for "back to school" supplies; which include glue sticks and pens and rulers and oh those lovely brand new notebooks.  10 cents a piece!!!!  I love those notebooks because they make me feel ready to face the world because I can write things down and take notes and make lists.  I will conquer homeschooling,oh I mean eclectic homeschooling, no no I mean unschooling, whatever it is called I can conquer it with those notebooks. 

...And then I remember; there is nothing to conquer.  September is merely about "almost fall"  and my birthday and one month til Johanna's birthday and 3mos 'til Christmas. 
I'll keep trying to save the "New year" for January. 

 Michael snapped the above pic with a camera he got for his birthday.  )

The best way to to get Johanna interested in any subject (Ok except handwriting)  is to bring animals into it. 
Recently we discovered on youtube some wonderful Animaniacs videos that starred some very cute and funny but most importantly very bright cats.
these cats, Yakko, wakko, and Dot through their very catchy lyrics have taught my kids the all the states and their capitols, the nations of the world, the planets , all the presidents up until Bill Clinton and some information about the universe.  (Note to Steven Spielberg; you're missing out on cash cow not making these songs into CDs. )
My kids are glued to maps and globes and USA puzzle maps.  The latest car game is "guess the state!" and both kids can correcty give clues as to East. West or Mid West , although Michael sometimes gets confused or maybe jsut an't remember which state he WAS thinking of they have the right idea.
Geogrpahy is fun!  These are also not lessons that end. They go on all day for days with kids learning things about states and making up new games.  "Guess the state bird is a new game these days.  We have some maps from "Which Way USA" and they give littel bits of info on them including state birds.  One day Micael yelled out to me "What is the state bird of Oregon?"  while staring at the map. 
"Um oriole?" I guess, wondering if he will try and read it or if he even can
"I can't it read it he yells back"
"Spell it to me"
"Ok " he says then very slowly he says, "S-t-a-t-e  b-i-r-d"  At least he was in the right place on the map.


 Another oldie but goodie game is license plate identification, which has us yelling out out of state license plate as they pass by or taking the long way out of the parking lot so we can see , "yup Illinois has President Lincoln on it" Speaking of Abraham Lincoln did you know he is Johanna's favorite president?  

This book tells the story abut how Lincoln was an animal lover and pardoned the 1st turkey on Thanksgiving.  

If it is true that the way to man's heart is through his stomach then the way to my kids knowledge is through animals. 

Homeschooling is a Great Adventure

Six Flags Great Adventure Homeschool day!  No lines, Plenty of fun rides but unfortuantely not all the rides were open.
Johanna's favorite was of course the safari and Michael loved all the wild rides.  He went on every ride he was tall enough to get on, including the the big log flume and the buccaneer!

We don't just go to the playground

Sometimes the laundry needs to get done, too.

this is laundromat math.  how many quarters in a dollar? how many in 5 dollars?

..and if you deprive your kids of enough TV they will sit and watch anything.
but you know after all the clothes were in the dryer we headed off to....

the park.  No wonder the laundry is never done!
The Unschooling Handbook : How to Use the Whole World As Your Child's Classroom

Monday mornings

We were invited to an organic garden Co op where the kids got kid got pick and eat onion grass, kale, and suck dandelion nectar all in the name helping weed and aerate the soil.    Such a lovely way to spend a Monday morning.
Organic Gardening

I know the difference!

I can tell when I'm asked a question that is simply based in curiosity and one that is meant to "trip me up"
Honestly, this post might get little obnoxious and I do not mean to offend my lovely readers whose children go to school but seriously I am sure I would get into a great big fight if I asked questions to school kids' parents like this:
"what about being out in the real world? how will your child learn that if they are in school all day?"
"What about learning to love learning? how you will your child learn that?"
" How will your kids learn that your word means more than some government institution?"
"How will your kids learn to be unstructured ?"
"How will your kids play outside?"
"how will your kid learn that it's ok to talk while learning?"
"How will your kid learn that you as the parent are knowledgeable in subjects taught in school and it doesn't matter that your not his teacher?

You see these questions are obnoxious and rude are they are not?
Somehow though people think it is perfectly OK to ask me how kids will learn a whole laundry list of ridiculous things.
It isn't the curious questioner that I mind. I actually like that person b/c I get talk and talk about homeschooling and they are genuinely interested but it's different sometimes.
Sometimes the questions are meant to say not, "how will your child...."
but rather the intent is, "your child never will...." b/c no matter how you answer, the other person is ready with an answer as to why your reasoning (not to mention countless hours researching) just wont work and your kids will somehow be handicapped b/c of not attending school.

I can't imagine how this would work the other way around but someday I will be brave enough to try it out on some overly invasive questioner/doubter.
Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling

Are we really overscheduled?

alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5448930557617184306" />
T ball, swimming, music,ice skating twice a week, ,and gymnastics. sometimes little random things come up that we participate in like winter classes which meet once a week.
sounds like a lot doesn't it? Sounds like maybe our homeschooled kids are overscheduled, something many felt like we should avoid. The thing is though when I (or you) break down the actual times of these classes and the amount of free playtime we still have I don't feel like my kids are over scheduled, I feel I am.
The kids enjoy getting out and interacting and learning different activities and the truth is they aren't in school for 6 hours a day so the dragging from here to there and getting dinner and homework isn't really an issue.


To me the over scheduling can be a direct result of kids being in school for so many hours. People don't say your kid should drop geography in order to have time to play little league. School kids days aren't cut shorter to make room for the fun, "Extra curricular" activities. they are doing the fun stuff in addition to being in school.



We don't fill our kids days with activities but they are exposed and the list makes it seem like, "Wow they do a lot"
Maybe they do but they have still have tons of free time to sit and play and learn. There is almost no homework (Music class gives homework)
In one week the total hours my kids spend in class is between 7 and 10 hours..A WEEK! Add in a special class and maybe the number goes up by 2 hours.
In between the scheduled classes they have friends over or play with each other.
So while our calender is chuck full of activities,play dates, and my work schedule if I had an hour by hour schedule most lines would be blank.
I don't think unless your kid is in class all day being told what to learn, how to learn, when to eat, then hurry hurry to the next activity where someone is telling them how to stand , how to dance, how to hit a ball, then hurry hurry to the tutor for homework practice then hurry for dinner then bed. Yes that is over scheduled b/c of the lack of down time.
In spite of the long list activities we still have tons of downtime.
So even though most of my homeschooling brethren are often lamenting, "Why do we call it homeschooling if we're never home" and most of us are calling to see who is free to play which day, I do not believe we over scheduled.

I can't help it!

It's true, I can't help it and I apologize if I sound like I am pushing homeschooling. I just feel so sorry for those kids you tell me about. I feel sorry for the ones who are so anxious they make themselves throw up in the morning, the ones who can hold it together for school but let in to you when they come home. My heart breaks for the kids whose parents tell me, "she doesn't have any friends" "She thinks the teacher doesn't like her" and "they must sit quietly at lunch"
This isn't judgment. I don't judge you for sending your kid to school I REALLY don't but when you say things like, "I don't think I could I could do it" I want to change that. I want to empower you, show you that YES you can teach your child.
When I hear you tell me that your child wishes to be homeschooled I want to show you how easy it can be, especially in this state. I don't want you to think I am a pushy homeschooling mom trying to tell everyone how to live but that door feels left open for a reason. I sometimes think maybe you want me to convince you that you can do it, because I know you can.
While I don't think school is detrimental to every child, my own niece thrives in school. I do think that many do not thrive and actually end up solely surviving and that school grades are not the best assesmentof whether a child is thriving.
So Yes I would love to convince everyone to homeschool if they could so I apologize if I sound overzealous I just don't want you or child to miss out. There really is another way.

..but you live in a good school district.

I do. I live in lovely town with "great" schools. What that means I guess is that most kids graduate and go to college. However in my circle of homeschoolers who take their kids out of school the complaints are such that I do not consider much of anything a good school district. kids that I know have been taken out to be homeschooled b/c class size was outrageous, kids having homework in Kindergarten, or kids spending all day coloring; Kindergartens that are full days and just way too much for a small 5 year old and kids who needed recess but were punished for talking so that privilege was taken away. Those are not good schools are not good school policies for children in my very humble opinion.
Good schools I can recognize but those are in my opinion charter schools which are very hard to come by in NJ. I do however love the The Ridge and Valley charter school philosophy and if I ever had to send my kids anywhere that is where they would go.
This http://www.nj.com/independentpress/index.ssf/2010/03/petition_circulating_to_save_c.html is from the "excellent" school district, which although not exactly my district, we are close enough neighbors that it could be.
Please for moment remember what Kindergarten was like for you. I remember the play kitchen, the big wooden blocks; which a student once dropped on "Miss" O'donnel's ankle and sent her to the nurse. I remember our round tables and warm milk and cubbies. I remember needing a smock for finger painting and using my father's old shirt.
I can't say I LOVED kindy but I do remember not hating it. The smell of warm milk is really the biggest memory for me and that smell is not pleasant so the association is not warm and lovey.
Kindergarten was for little kids to get used to going to school but that has been replaced with Preschool. The problem however is that kids are still 5 when they go to kindergarten and whether they learned to write their name in Pre K or not they are still 5 year olds that need lots of imaginative play, creative outlets and freinds. No one learns best by being lectured to but children need to figure stuff out.
They need to play and learn to play together. The brain is still growing and some parts of it are not ready for what we are shoving into it at this young age. This does not mean that we can't manipulate a kid and shame them inot learning something but where does that leave the desire to learn? What might a "red card" sent home for mis behaving do a child's view of education.
Is education all about being quiet and learning or is education bigger, louder wild and unleashed.
Information is everywhere not just in classroom full of kids and teachers and pricipals who think art is not as important as writing. Maybe they forgot the rule that art skills help develop handwriting. I don't know, but I'm glad my kids don't go to a "good" school.

Field trips...

If you went to school as opposed to being homeschooled do you find yourself remembering fondly going on field trips? Or do you remember being worried about a seat mate on the bus? Was the trip special because of a school bus or a walk to town? In grammar school were you especially proud to have your parent along as a chaperon? Maybe a special brown bagged lunch?
Well those are my memories, anyway. the good and bad about riding bus. I was worried about having a freind to sit next to and was thrilled to find Yoo hoo in my lunch bag. My dad was always the chaperon because Field trips were on Wednesdays and that was his day off. My father was in charge of the unruly kids.

The Butterfly school school bus leaves on class trips several times month on average. I, the bus driver, load up my 2 students. We go on so many field trips it seems we are mistakenly labeled homeschoolers. We really do so little at home that might look academic. Although we live by the rule that we are learning all the time somethings just look better as learning. field trips work well for pictures of learning.
I know school kids go on class trips and adore them and learn from them as well. However the nice thing about homeschool field trips is that we rarely go just once. You don't need to learn all there is to know or experience on that one trip.
The other side of the homeschooling field trips though is, there is never Yoo Hoo in your lunch box, although that may be a sign of the times and so not so much homeschooling. The other thing is, if your feeling unruly your own mom is right there to take care of it, that could be a plus or minus depending on your feelings.
See ya on the road my fellow homeschoolers.

Fosterfield's

Fosterfield's is a living farm that runs as though it is still in the 1800s. this year they did the maple sugaring and I still prefer it over at the Great swmap but it was interresting to see the farm in the freezing cold. (ok maybe not interesting b/c it was FREEZING) but I suppose it had some educational value right?


Anyway, I love this farm (in the spring most of all) because the kids really get hands on experience and great time outdoors. In the summer they can wash clothes by hand after filling the bucket from a pump then hang them on the line to dry.

The kids' favorite part in the winter was churning butter because it was inside. and in the summer they like washing the clothes and looking for barn cats.